There are attorneys, psychologists, mediators, and other professionals that have realized that there is a better way for our spouses and our children post-separation and post-divorce. Enter Alec Wisner of Wisner Dispute Resolution Services who discusses his dispute resolution methods with our audience.

“Trained at the Strauss Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University with special divorce mediation training under the tutelage of Jim Melamed of the Oregon Mediation Center, Alec brings a unique blend of experience and training to his mission.  Thirty years of experience as an attorney, eighteen years of which were spent in hands-on business management provides Alec with the insight necessary to empower individuals during their stressful periods of conflict.“

Hugh McIsaac, a retired director of Family Court Services in Los Angeles and Portland, Ore., advises divorce attorneys to represent their clients’ long-term interests, not their short-term anger. The average cost of a mediated divorce is less than $7,000 and of a collaborative divorce less than $20,000. This compares with nearly $27,000 for a divorce negotiated by rival lawyers and about $78,000 for a fully litigated divorce.

The adversarial process seems to be the most prevalent method of divorce, despite many peaceful or “less-adversarial” processes that are available, but not widely understood. For good reason, lawyers certainly make more money on the adversarial process and that seems to be what divorce is all about nowadays, who has the best lawyer.

Alec Wisner brings one of the alternatives that certainly demonstrate a more peaceful approach to the divorce process, and you are encouraged to listen to the program and hear just how easy divorce should be.

Alec Wisner Bio and Information (Click for Website)

Since forming Wisner Dispute Resolution Services in 2003, Alec Wisner has been using his unique and diverse background to assist hundreds of clients successfully resolve their disputes. Thoroughly trained in all aspects of mediation, especially in the areas of divorce and family mediation as well as commercial mediation, Alec provides both an understanding of the underlying issues and an ability to facilitate positive communication.

Alec brings a rich and diverse background to his mediation practice. While attending U.C.L.A., he won numerous national debate awards, graduating in 1971. Alec matriculated at the University of Southern California Law Center, earning his J.D. in 1974.

From 1975 through 1978, Mr. Wisner developed his legal skills in the areas of family and commercial law. In 1978, seeking new challenges, he entered the world of corporate business. During the ensuing eighteen years, Alec served in top management in the printing/publishing industry. In this capacity, he managed the growth or several medium-size corporations and was personally responsible for the spinoff of several new, successful enterprises. Mr. Wisner is still actively involved as a director of such corporations as Golden Triangle Financial Services, located in Las Vegas, NV.

Returning to the full-time practice of law, Mr. Wisner became a principal in Stanbury Fishelman & Wisner, Inc., in Los Angeles, California. As an attorney, Mr. Wisner’s practice encompassed complex civil litigation, class actions, as well as family law.

Contact Information:
18375 Ventura
Boulevard, Suite 275
Tarzana, CA
91356-5823
Email Alec Directly
Phone: 818-776-1813
Fax: 818-776-1770

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On March 16th 2006, in violation of US court orders and laws, Ryoko covertly boarded a flight on ANA (a Japanese flagship carrier) and illegally kidnapped Melissa to Japan.

Patrick Braden has set aside his personal career for the last 3 years to work in Washington DC on the issue of International Child Abduction with a specific focus on Japan and their defiant disregard of International Children’s rights, US laws, international treaties and other related issues.

On March 11th 2009, after 2 years of work on Capitol Hill,and partly with the support from the recent high level publicity regarding the Sean Goldman case, House Resolution 125 was passed with a unanimous roll call vote in the US House of Representatives. This Resolution will benefit thousands of children and their left behind parents, affected by the plight of International Child Abduction.

The only way that Patrick can parent his child at this point is to continue his work to bring her home. Japan has refused to sign onto the Hague Convention Treaty and has never returned a single abducted child back to the United States.

You can find the “Help Bring Melissa Braden Home” group page on Facebook and connect with other parents that have been victims of International and Domestic Parental Abductions. This episode is an eye-opening compilation of what to expect, what you should do, and how to effectively advocate with the various organizations/agencies for the safe return of your children.

Some Interesting Statistics as Reported in House Resolution 125 (March 11th, 2009)

According to the Department of State, there are 51 cases involving 65 children who were habitual residents of the United States and who were removed to Brazil by a parent and have not been returned to the United States as required under the Hague Convention.

According to the Department of State’s April 2008 Report on Compliance with the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction, `parental child abduction jeopardizes the child and has substantial long-term consequences for both the child and the left-behind parent’.

The Department of State’s Office of Children’s Issues, while not always notified of international child abductions, is currently handling approximately 1,900 open cases of parental abduction to other countries involving more than 2,800 children abducted from the United States.

According to the Department of State, in fiscal year 2008, the United States Central Authority counted 306 cases of parental abductions involving 455 children taken from the United States to other countries that are not partners with the United States under the Hague Convention, currently including 101 children in Japan, 67 children in India, and 37 children in Russia.

Three-year-old Melissa Braden is among the children who have been wrongfully abducted to Japan, a United States ally which does not recognize intra-familial child abduction as a crime, and though its family laws do not discriminate by nationality, Japanese courts give no recognition to the parental rights of the non-Japanese parent, fail to enforce United States court orders relating to child custody or visitation, and place no effective obligation on the Japanese parent to allow parental visits for their child.

Melissa was taken from Los Angeles, California to Japan on March 16, 2006, when she was 11-months-old, despite a California court’s prior order forbidding Melissa’s removal to Japan and granting joint custody to her father Patrick Braden.

Despite his extensive efforts, Mr. Braden and his daughter have not seen each other since her abduction.

According to the Department of State, abducted children are at risk of serious emotional and psychological problems and have been found to experience anxiety, eating problems, nightmares, mood swings, sleep disturbances, aggressive behavior, resentment, guilt and fearfulness, and as adults may struggle with identity issues, their own personal relationships and parenting.

Left-behind parents may encounter substantial psychological, emotional, and financial problems and many may not have the financial resources to pursue civil or criminal remedies for the return of their children in foreign courts or political systems.

About the Hague Convention as applicable to Child Custody and Jurisdiction involving minors

The Hague Convention of 1996  is the third of the modern Hague Conventions . Its full title is Convention of 19 October 1996 on Jurisdiction, Applicable Law, Recognition, Enforcement and Co-operation in respect of Parental Responsibility and Measures for the Protection of Children. It is much broader in scope than the first two conventions, covering a wide range of civil measures of protection concerning children, from orders concerning parental responsibility and contact to public measures of protection or care, and from matters of representation to the protection of children’s property.

The third of the modern Hague Conventions, the Convention of 19 October 1996 on Jurisdiction, Applicable Law, Recognition, Enforcement and Co-operation in respect of Parental Responsibility and Measures for the Protection of Children, is much broader in scope than the first two, covering as it does a very wide range of civil measures of protection concerning children, from orders concerning parental responsibility and contact to public measures of protection or care, and from matters of representation to the protection of children’s property. It also covers:

• Parental disputes over custody and contact

• Reinforcement of the 1980 Child Abduction Convention

• Unaccompanied minors

• Cross-frontier placements of children

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Coloring Away Pain is dedicated to bringing playful resources to children dealing with difficult life situations including divorce and parental alienation. By addressing issues such as bullying, death of a loved one, a deployed parent, or a natural disaster through the use of animal characters and easily digested stories, children often are able to open up and express themselves. The coloring books each encourage a child to explore a subject with the animal characters, answer thought provoking questions, and draw freely in addition to the standard coloring activities. Coloring Away Pain originally began in response to the Hurricane Katrina disaster. Now, Coloring Away Pain has over 15 titles in publication and has been translated into multiple languages.

Child therapists often use art in therapy because children often have more difficulty than adults trying to put feelings into words. It makes perfect sense for parents to be able to work with their children through various issues that might be beyond their current vocabulary and understanding. Art therapy can be used with children, adolescents and adults who are struggling with personal issues or just in search of personal growth. There are many developmental stages that children go through during their lives from scribbling at ages 2-4 to pseudo realism at ages 11-13, where the child is more critical of themselves and when they began to make decisions on their own. It is not unusual for children to go back and forth between stages according to various sources.

I personally really enjoyed the interview and see this as yet another resource that has been helping children and parents in a variety of situations. In an effort to spread awareness of these resources, we need your help and that means stepping up in your own community. How? Well the first thing is that you need to do go to their website at http://www.coloringawaypain.com and familiarize yourself with the variety of books that are available. After learning more about these resources contact your local community mental health center and ask to speak with someone that works with children and obtain their email address. Send them an email that contains the links showing all of the currently coloring books and introduce yourself briefly. This will help you build a rapport with the local office. If you don’t know which link it is, I will give you this shortcut: http://www.coloringawaypain.com/books.php.

Another project to consider is to start a crayon drive in your community, contact a small business to see if they will sponsor some books so that you can take them to child therapists and libraries, contact your local newspaper to see if they will do a story on these available resources as a public interest piece. Coloring Away Pain is a 501(c)(3) federally registered non-profit and contributions/donations made to them may qualify you for a reduction in taxes.

MORE ABOUT THE STAGES ASSOCIATED WITH ART THERAPY AND CHILDREN

Developmental aspects of children’s drawings
In 1947 Victor Lowenfeld published the book Creative and Mental Growth in which he connected intellectual growth, psychosocial stages of development, and six stages of development in children’s drawings. Cross-sectional studies conducted by Kellogg (1970) also support the conclusion that children progress in drawing through different stages that fall into predictable age groups as follows:

Scribble Stage
The scribbling stage appears at about eighteen months to two years of age. According to most researchers, this scribble is not just aimless motion created at random by the child, but demonstrates an awareness of pattern and growing hand-eye coordination. (Silk & Thomas, 1990; Lowenfeld & Brittain, 1987)

Soon after children start scribbling, they will start to name what it was they drew after they have finished drawing it. Around two years of age, children will sometimes label their drawing before they have started working on it, but if the drawing looks like something else to them, they may just change the label. Their scribbles progressively become more recognizable and separate shapes appear on the same page. At around three and a half years, children begin incorporating details like fingers on hands. (Silk & Thomas, 1990; Lowenfeld & Brittain, 1987)

“Pre-Schematic” Stage
The next stage of drawing, identified by Lowenfeld as the “Pre-Schematic” stage, typically occurs between four and seven years. In the emergence of this stage, children may draw a human figure with a circle and two dangling lines for legs. Sometimes they include a rectangular shape for trunks of bodies, and often little marks inside the circle to represent facial features. This tadpole schema is used for animals as well as people. Drawings at this level are often described as symbolic realism because a child is perfectly happy with a simple symbol of an object. (Silk & Thomas, 1990; Lowenfeld & Brittain, 1987)

“Schematic” Stage
The “Schematic” stage of drawing generally occurs at ages 7-9. Some characteristics that commonly occur in this stage are indicative of what the child is thinking versus what is actually seen by the child. An interesting phenomenon that occurs in many children’s drawings during this stage is called “x-ray drawing”. In these, a child will draw things that aren’t really visible in life. A good example of this is a man on a horse with both legs showing, even though we would really only see one. Pregnant women are often shown with a visible baby in their abdomens. Details like hands, fingers, and clothing are added with greater and greater frequency. (Silk & Thomas, 1990) As they progress further, overlapped objects, such as a tree partially obscured by the edge of a house, also emerge. The farther away something is, the smaller it will be portrayed, regardless of the real relationship in size between the objects. This indicates a growing comprehension of perspective. In many cases, children have begun using one-point perspective. (Silk & Thomas, 1990; Lowenfeld & Brittain, 1987)

“Dawning Realism” Stage
Around the age of nine or ten, children’s drawings become increasingly standardized. An emphasis on depicting how things really look can begin to frustrate them. This is referred to as the “Gang Age” or “Dawning Realism.” Children will often bring comic strip figures or commercial logos into their drawings and it is at this point that many children lose interest in drawing, as they become dissatisfied with their results. Adults often draw at this level or slightly below because this is where they ended their art education.

Eve Jarboe is a Masters of Art Therapy graduate from Marylhurst University, Oregon. For a complete reference by Eve Jarboe, visit this link: http://www.newhorizons.org/strategies/arts/jarboe.htm

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The topic of discussion is community activism, government accountability, and taking action. That means stepping up for a commitment and doing the actions requested. Mary will be joining us for at least 6 weeks on Monday evenings here at Get Your Justice Live. Hopefully we can make this a long-standing and informative issue to continue expanding the footprint of our programming and raising awareness that everyone has the power to “Get Involved.”

Mary Cadei-Johnson

Born and raised in the San Francisco Bay area,  her parents John and Mary were married for over 40 years. Mary has a a Bachelor’s degree in Interior Design and currently owns an Interior Design Company in California. She also has worked for the San Mateo County Juvenile Probation Department and San Mateo County Sheriff’s Department.

Mary is a divorced single Mother of 2 beautiful daughters Alyssa and Megan Elizabeth, ages 20 and 15 years old respectively. Mary has experienced the painful difficulties of divorce as well as Parental Alienation. Mary has gained the experience associated with the injustices of our nation’s broken family court system and defunct child protective services agencies.

Mary’s personal hope is that she can bring action and solutions regarding our Judicial System.

We are trying to convince her for more episodes than 6, so we will need all of your help. Send me an email after you have heard the first program and provide some feedback on what you think.

Let us know what you think, as much more additional programming is coming down the pipeline from other contributors. You can contact the Get Your Justice Live News Network at 517-325-3789 to comment on our programming and to make suggestions.

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Dr. Lefkowitz is a Forensic Psychologist and Parenting Coach at SuburbanPsychology.Com.

Mike Mastracci is the author and legal mind behind STOP Fighting Over the Kids, Resolving Day-to-Day Custody Conflict in Divorce Situations.

This was a very interesting episode that brings experience and foresight to the hiring process. Listen and share with others this episode of Get Your Justice Live. This is as much a legal question as it is a mental health question because decisions are often required to be made under high stress and in short times.

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Dr. Jeffrey Johnson, representing  the National Partnership for Community Leadership, joined us live on Get Your Justice Live to discuss the 100th Anniversary Year of Father’s Day, the National Fatherhood Conference for Responsible Fathers, and the National Fathers Day Rally on the Lincoln Memorial. Take a listen at the shortened 31 minute version so that you can get all the information about Dr. Jeffrey Johnson’s perspective on fatherhood, absenteeism, the events, and government policy affecting our families and children.

“The National Fatherhood Conference is occurring June 16th through June 19th, 2009. The National Fathers Day Rally is occurring on June 20th, 2009 at the Lincoln Memorial.”

I asked Dr. Jeffrey Johnson “what is the best form of child support that a father can offer their child?” and he replied pretty clearly that being a father is more than being a paycheck and that the “best support that a father can provide to their child is to be “present.”

Over 2 million children in the United States live in Fatherless homes. As a result, child/teen statistics related to violence, failure in academics, broken relationships and more, have grown to an alarming rate. Active involvement of both parents has proven to be direct link to child success in personal life decisions, academics, and beyond. (Click here to read documented statistics on growing Father absence in the US)

Dr. Jeffrey Johnson agrees that current policies that affect the family promote negative results of fatherlessness rather than positive results of having fathers “be present.” In fact, responsible fathers are going to be praised at the National Fathers Day Rally in Washington DC this June 20, 2009. Click the flyer image for more information on attending or starting your own rally in your State!

Changes are going to occur by coming together and setting differences aside. As I have been pushing forward, children need both parents and the parent-child relationship should be the positive result in legislation. “Parental Rights should be respected and protected by all,” and we need to focus less on conflict and more on conflict resolution in todays legislation.

Now we still have time to time to get the interesting fact out that this year is the 100th Anniversary Day for Fathers Day out to members of the press, marketing coordinators for stores, and more so that it is reflected in advertising, media releases, and the general public.

Don’t forget that next month is National Child-Centered Divorce Month and July 26, 2009 is the National Parents Day. We will have more information on how you can help raise awareness in the coming week.

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